Arjun left
Vijay left
Shwetha left
Bablu left
Harish left
Ramesh left
Tom left
Dick left
Harry left
The above few words of unintelligible gobbledegook may
initially give my readership an impression that I am either high on narcotic
substances or that I have gone bonkers atleast for the nonce. But wait. Hold
on! Aren’t they smacking of a rather familiar refrain that we have got accustomed
to in the past couple of years?
Ah! Now you may say “Oh yeah! Now I get it. These fellows
have just had it enough and thereby called it quits from some WhatsApp group”
Yup, you are absolutely spot on. I have just quoted verbatim
the text impression you might have seen or envision on your mobile screen when
a group of buddies create a sort of digital exodus once the purpose for the WhatsApp
group has been exhausted.
But, I for one, find the above
phenomenon very amusing and sometimes even a bit annoying. No, I am not
questioning the rationale behind quitting. No man with a shred of sanity
prevailing within will ever do so once the raison
d’etre for the group’s existence ceases to exist, unless he finds it a
rather convenient platform to practice soliloquy. It is the blistering speed at
which the mass migration occurs, as if propelled by some high octane fuel that
really peeves me!
It seems as if quitting the group
first is considered a matter of prestige and honour. In the race to exit, the
winner isn’t going to be awarded a medal nor or his competitors behind at close
quarters going to be showered with encomiums by the press. Then why the bloody hurry??
Recently, whilst attending a pair
of successive classes of some drab subject, lasting more than 3 hours at a stretch, I
endured a period of unbearable ennui sitting in the first row. Finally unable
to stomach it no longer, I logged onto YouTube on my mobile. Desiring some real
carnivore action atleast in the virtual world, to neutralize the effects of
unmitigable boredom in the real world, I watched a video titled ‘Slaughter in the Water’, where a mighty
pack of ravenous crocodiles effects a gruesome carnage on scores of hapless godforsaken
wildebeests when they cross the River Mara in Central Africa during the Great
Migration. As the horrific bloodbath ensues, a stampede of gargantuan
proportions begins midway through the crossing, where the wildebeests literally
fight it out in a dog-eat-dog slugfest in an attempt to outpace each other, overcoming
croc after croc till they cross the river of blood and finally climb ashore to
safety. All in all, a 6 minute viewing of sheer macabre which no man with finer
sensibilities would want to watch. A more-or-less similar emotion engulfs me when I see
my buddies enter into a rat race to quit the WhatsApp group as if a crocodile
had entered into it!
Atleast in the case of the video
you get a sensation of solace and some consolatory peace to see that, though a
few wildebeests met their miserable ends in the crocs bellies, most of them
survived the gory ordeal. But here the very group of buddies, after going about
their divergent ways enter other WhatsApp groups and start chatting away to glory. Then
once the group throws in the towel, the exodus begins again and the vicious cycle
continues. In other words it isn’t as if the very reason of quitting a group
symbolizes the reticent persona of its members!
Recently, yours truly and a group
of friends decided to dine outside in some fancy restaurant. Since many of them
were supposed to join in from different destinations, I instituted a WhatsApp
group to facilitate the process of coordination. The group saw a lot of
activity initially with minute details such as venue, address, whereabouts of those
in the intention of not replying, etc. being disseminated. In due course the 12
of us, like a jury, were seated around a huge round table licking our lips and
waiting to devour the contents of our plates. But even before the order could
be placed with the waiter, I chanced a look at my mobile to see 5 of the blokes
already relinquish the group! Halfway through the gastronomical affair another
couple had evacuated. By the time we finished and left the restaurant, another
trio had called it quits, leaving me and one friend languishing rather
pitifully!
I am the sort of person who
typically delivers the valedictory speech in the group such as “Thanks a lot
guys! Had a great time” or “Nice dinner folks. See you soon”. I perilously
lurked close to being labelled as crazy when I started typing something on
those lines, when my guardian angel, in the brink of time, prevented me from
pressing the send button reminding me that a personal chat message to my
solitary friend would suffice. I can be pushed about to some extent but
certainly no further. I certainly don’t possess the wherewithal to sustain a 2
member group chat!
On several occasions, it so
occurs, as in the case above that, all of us go Dutch with the result that
monetary transactions, a barter of a few tenners here and there, have to be
settled. This is when, those blokes who deserted the group a tad too early
realize their folly, but their ego prevents them from requesting to be re-added
to the group. The result - A new group that answers to the name of ‘XYZ Hotel Night Out – Expenses’ is created. After the usual rigmarole in which friendly jousts for currency
exchanges are witnessed and once the accounts have been sorted out with
everyone filled to the brim with absolute satisfaction like the chief exchequer
which has completed a perfect clean audit of the Governments voluminous spends,
another mass exodus begins and the same ruddy circle continues.
I reach home and just as I tuck
into the bed, with no hurry whatsoever, I enter the various transient WhatsApp group
chats I had been a part of during the day for one last time and lug myself out
of solitary confinement. Before closing my eyes, my poetic mood now buzzing on
all cylinders, I mentally weave out a quatrain and it goes:-
With technology in the age of millennial
Our behavioural changes have become perennial
With the spawn of the digital era
We have truly entered a world of Ephemera
Nice
ReplyDeleteWell written
ReplyDelete