The Eternal Choke Artists

It’s that time of the year, when Arsenal fans find themselves embroiled in a familiar frustrating situation. It’s that time of the year when they wish they could go into hibernation like some of the more fortunate species of fauna and wouldn’t have to make eye contact with the rest of the world. They utter a silent prayer that they could remain incommunicado for an indefinite period of time till things get better. The external ignominy faced by the Gunners faithful are inclusive of the usual mocks, jeers and a wide variety of taunts ranging from sarcastic commiserations to group humiliations replete with abuses bordering on the lines of All India Bakchod’s roast from rival fans. I, being one myself, unabashedly admit that I almost enter into a fit of murderous rage whenever a friend or relative who is a hardcore Chelsea or a Manchester United supporter confronts me after a horrid Arsenal loss with that whacky sardonic smile which speaks a million words. But internally upon honest retrospection, every Arsenal fan kicks himself and what lends an extra vigour to the kick is the knowledge that these are well deserved brickbats hurled at him, but sadly he remains in a position unable to do anything other than abjectly surrender to the throes of hope. Oh the audacity of hope!

Arsenal’s abysmal capitulation in the last couple of games at Old Trafford on Sunday and at home to Swansea yesterday have again set the bloody alarm bells ringing again. Alarm bells not warning of losing ground in the title race, but rather the conventional and more familiar refrain that unless Arsenal buckle up, a 4^th place finish is in dire danger. And what beats me is how do Arsenal play to this predicament year after year for nearly a decade with unfailing precision? I just fail to understand.

I mean just imagine this. Arsenal start every season strongly, breeze through the first 3 months with aplomb essaying a virtuoso exhibition of champagne football, which is a treat to every football connoisseur. Then as the festive season wears on, spanners are thrown into the works and the traction is disturbed. The wobble begins almost immediately after Christmas, and by the middle and the end of February, they inevitably press the self-destruction button and implode. Its like a sports car, starting with a bang, and very soon hitting cruise control at 200 MPH, squeezing every penny out of the odometer before it inexplicably veers out of control and within seconds comes a pathetic smeller in the ditch.

I attribute this annual phenomenon to a phrase I coined in the wee hours of today morning, called ‘Programmed to Implode’ after enduring 90 minutes of agony last night against the Swans. It’s almost as if this is destined to happen at the start of every season. The tagline of my former employer TCS is ‘Experience Certainty’ which perfectly fits the bill for Arsenal. It’s truly disheartening to see Arsenal’s implosion, towards the fag end of the premier league season, becoming almost as certain as the sun rising in the east.

On deep contemplation and unbiased analysis, one can attribute this phenomenon to a multitude of factors. I’ll save the best for the last. Firstly, the manager Arsene Wenger’s stubbornness when it comes to purchase decisions. I don’t understand how can a team aim to compete for top honours in a league which assumes, as it progresses, menacing proportions of a dog-eat-dog slugfest, without having a crop of world class players who have had the experience of winning trophies. Why is it that Arsene refuses to splurge money, and instead relies on his tried, tested and yet miserably failed formulaic pattern of playing teenagers on the big stage. I am second to none in my admiration for the well-structured Arsenal Youth Academy which nurtures and grooms young talent to rise up through the ranks from the reserves to the main team. I also admire Arsene and his scouts for their uncanny ability of spotting young footballing blood from the remote corners of the planet and putting them on the next plane to London. But seriously is this going to get us trophies? Absolutely not. What else can explain Manchester City’s meteoric rise over the decade from mid table and relegation battling positions to being considered as one of the most deadly footballing teams, and a potential lure for the world’s best player Messi. Similarly what Arsenal need is experienced and well-oiled machinery who know what to do and how to do on the big stage. And that is why arsenal fans are beseeching ‘Splurge! Splurge! Splurge!’

Is too much of emphasis being laid on Arsenal's youngsters?

So this eventually leads to the second factor which is the undeniable manifestation of a major mental block and a fear psychosis that begins to set in when pressure starts reigning towards the more crucial part of the season. We need a squad which can, if necessary, park the bus and grind a slew of lacklustre 1-0 victories, rather than a set of players who simply ride on a momentum wave to conjure meaningless 4-0, 5-0 victories against amateur teams. The current crop of players such as Sanchez, Giroud, Ozil, Walcott have consistently shown dazzling football skills, but eventually when the push comes to shove, they fail to perform and crumble. The age old adage in sport ‘Mind over Matter’ has never before assumed more relevance in the context of the Gunners than the present.

Thirdly and lastly as promised I propose to bring on board the controversial topic of Arsene Wenger’s credentials and his ability to sustain on this unmerciful stage of English football. I am very aware of the fact that I am about to stir up a hornet’s nest. Whenever I broach this topic among fellow gunners, typically passions and emotions take centre stage and almost immediately start clouding rational thinking. A good deal of my brethren, start vociferously arguing that it was Arsene who brought fame and name to this club. It was Arsene who was instrumental in Arsenal winning 2 league titles and 6 FA Cups. It was under Arsene that the mighty ‘Invincibles’ flourished. It was Arsene at the helm of affairs of when, Arsenal symbolized footballing excellence at its apotheosis in all those glorious yesteryears at Highbury. True, Arsenal’s history can certainly be bifurcated into Pre-Arsene and Post-Arsene eras. True, the brand of football played then by the same club peaked Empyrean heights, which in all likelihood may never be replicated on the English stage. But dear friends kindly introspect! Is this a time to gloat over past successes? Kindly remember that the then crop of players included the inspirational captain Patrick Vieira, the legendary Thierry Henry, the Dutch wizard Dennis Bergkamp, the French Maestro Robert Pires, the mercurial Swede Freddie Ljungberg to name just a few. There was another array of players who could produce many a piece de resistance whenever circumstances demanded them, thus bringing home the bacon. Do we have even a tenth of that squad in terms of quality?

The Arsenal Invincibles winning the 2003-04 EPL Title

Another inane argument that springs forth is the continuing legacy of Arsene Wenger. To me the word legacy is of no importance, if it fails to fulfill the raison d’etre of a club’s sheer existence and that is to bring itself and its fans glory through trophies. And in this department Wenger has almost miserably failed in the past decade except for a couple of odd ball FA Cup trophies which came after a painful wait of nearly 9 years.

I, once used to look at Roman Abrahamovich, the owner of Chelsea F.C with considerable disdain and derision. At Chelsea, the Sword of Damocles perpetually hangs over any manager at any given point of time. Abrahamovich has mercilessly wielded the executioner’s axe resulting in a change of 8 managers over a period of 10 years. Even the inimitable and effervescent Mourinho with the reputation of heralding a new era at Chelsea has not been spared not once but twice. But now I realize, it is this butchering practice has enabled Chelsea to consistently win silverware over the years. This is cruel but sadly the bitter truth in football management for football is a highly capricious sport.

Chelsea managers over the last decade

Carlo Ancelotti guided the Blues to a premier league and FA cup title in the 2009-2010 season. The next year, a trophy-less season resulted in his sacking. Avram Grant, was a kick away from winning Chelsea’s first ever European Champions League title in 2008, before being shown the door. Not an iota of mercy was shown on Roberto Di Matteo either, who despite engineering Chelsea to its first ever UEFA Champions League title, was axed ruthlessly. This only goes to show that past successes need to be flung into oblivion if they needs to be tasted in the present.

A section of the Arsenal faithful calling for Wenger's exit

However disconcerting it may be to Wenger loyalists, the truth lies that, had we changed our managers from time to time on account of non-performance (perhaps not with the damning pace of Abrahamovich), Highbury’s legacy might have seamlessly segued into the trophy cabinets of the Emirates by now.

For now, the tunnel is dark with no end in sight and every toothless attempt to scratch at the prized league title is only throwing us back into an abyss of nothingness. E.M Forster the iconic English Novelist once wrote that Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony was the most sublime noise that ever penetrated the human ear. Likewise I would say for an Arsenal fan, the sight of the Arsenal Squad, bathed in confetti and holding aloft the premier league title would be the most sublime sight that ever met the eye. But that for now seems to be only assuming bigger proportions of Don Quixote tilting at the windmills. It simply remains to be seen how much more we as Arsenal fans can endure.

Again remember brothers what we need is ‘The Audacity of Hope’!